Cancer? Fuck that!!

Whilst “cloud surfing” yesterday (my Doctor tells me I need more exercise so I’m taking it) we stumbled on the subject of cancer…

I, and ALL of my closest of friends recently lost fathers (uncanny, but all in the last year) to this vicious bitch of a disease. I remember the daily phone calls from my mother reporting on his progression. The “up” days when treatment seemed to be working, the “down” days when it clearly wasn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to see him towards the end. This great man, built like an ox with a constitution to match slowly being destroyed from within by this terrible disease…

It started (like with most smokers) in one of his lungs. The Doctors said that the tumour was about the size of a ten pence piece when they found it growing on his lung. Prescribed inhaler, drugs, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, some days he was better, a bit more like his old self, full of confidence that he could beat this…

Other days, other days were not so good. Coupled with the fact that he knew he was dying were the side effects that treatment was causing (excuse me, back in a bit, balling my eyes out)…

Sorry about that, I feel I should explain. My father was my “step-father” and not my biological one. He had not “blood rite” of fatherhood over me and had to earn it. Yeah, he earned it. I have never and never will love and respect any man more than (for fuck sake, brb) him. Over six feet tall with arms like tree trunks and hands like hammers, the biggest man I have ever met, yet he was always kind and caring with never a bad word for anybody and he could have the patience of a saint when needed. He taught me everything from fishing and hunting to driving and fixing my car. If only I had listened more to his advice on women…

Anyway, as his condition worsened and his body became weaker the cancer spread. If I’m honest I’m not even sure all the places he had it in the end, but I know he had a huge tumour on his brain that caused the annihilation of one of his eyes (such was the strength of the man that his eye gave out before his brain, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain). He eventually died overnight in my mother’s arms, the pressure of the tumours causing such a strain on his lungs that in turn put strain on his heart that in turn brought about a cessation of life. I miss him so much…

The problem with being a “step-son” is that people assume that you don’t love your “step-dad.” My father had two natural sons and one natural daughter, all of which I don’t see as often as I would like. One lives thousands of miles away and I had not seen before the funeral in years, back when I was still a boy (although it was great to meet for the first time as grown-ups. I have no idea how either of us would have survived the funeral without the other being there). One has disappeared of the face of the earth but still managed to see Dad just before he died (although didn’t make it for the funeral as he had “gone missing” again), and the other is a spoilt brat (not her fault, what can I say, Dad always wanted a girl). But I did love Dad, these siblings had no choice about their father as he just was, and was always there from birth. But I did have a choice and I chose him as my father, no one sees that…

As I said I miss him, every day, so you can’t help but look back and think what could have been done differently. How could Doctors have “preserved” life, as is their remit?

I’m not a Doctor of medicine (yet, who knows the future) but it seems very, very obvious to me that when cancer was first found they should have gone about things differently…

Cancer cells are already in our body, hiding like some monstrous beast in the depths of our daily wellbeing waiting for their time to shine. Waiting for us to mess up enough so that they can begin the process they have been waiting for. A process that has one singular function, to KILL US!! So why, when Cancer finally (hey, I have smoked since I was 12, I know this bitch has me in her sights) rears her hideous head do we then prod it, take samples, throw chemicals and radio waves and the like at it? It might go down, for a bit. It might have to adapt. It might even have to start somewhere else. But whatever it does, it will still do it’s best to do the one thing it was born to do, KILL YOU!!

I learned a lot from my Dad. Sayings such as “if it aint broke don’t fix it” and “if you can’t win, don’t play” spring to mind…

Cancer. Don’t fuck with it. Don’t piss it off. Don’t give it an excuse to fight. Don’t play its fucking game. Operate. Cut it out. Change your lifestyle so it doesn’t come back…

After all, I would rather lose one of my lungs than die. I would rather lose my legs than die. I would rather lose my sight and long term memory than die. Nothing I have or am is worth anything if I am dead. Cut the cancer out before it grows and spreads and does everything it was bread to do that means IT WILL KILL ME!!!

Love

Barticus

P.S. As word of this is spreading I realise I should dedicate this to those that made this possible. To my Step Father, the Greatest man I have ever known. And to my father God, without whom this would have all not been possible....