The banking crisis 2014

Imagine if you will…..

So, you make a bit of a bad investment call. You invest in some bad debt in a country you have never heard of and don’t really travel to but hey, the interest rates were a bit spectacular and maybe we should really have checked if these fools had the possibility to pay this back or not but the deal seemed too good to miss. Still, accidents do happen and we lose a few million dollars, no biggie as we have billions to spare and we can soon make it back.

But the problem is the “little” people freak out (as if we would have invested “their” money on such a great project) and start turning up at our door demanding their money back, not in cashier cheques or electronic payments but in cash. I mean, cash, who carries that much cash anymore? So we tell the people “OK, be calm and we will work out some cash for you” and they start shouting “Oh no, my bank doesn’t have any cash” and more of the fools start to panic.

Well, this is obviously ridiculous so we turn to the Governors of the little people and say “do me a favour, we (the banking system) lend you money all the time. Please can you tell the little people that we have loads of money (with much of it lent out to people like you) so that they can stop panicking….” But instead of the treasury or someone who knows about money dealing with it YOU let some “press” fool deal with it and now the panic is worse.

But it is all ok. As stated above we have loads of money and we soon start to sort the problems out. We call in a few loans, find big bundles of the “green stuff” and appease the masses so they can live with the fear of someone stealing it from under their mattresses. Screw them, I mean they started this right?

But, we did lose a bit of money and we did lose a lot of control, and we don’t like anyone else thinking they are in control so we had better get a bit more control.

So the guy who has $50k in cash under his mattress wants to put it back in so he can get interest and know his money is safe? Is that the same guy who screamed his money was safer under his mattress than in OUR bank? Seriously? Well “screw him!!” Drop interest rates to the lowest ever seen and let’s see if the fool is actually making any money after his charges. Because interest rates are so low the rest of the “little people” will borrow left right and centre without even bothering to ask where all of this money is coming from. It’s electronic after all, it’s not like we even need any of the real stuff.

Note from author:

“With interest rates at the lowest seen, debt, both personal and industrial is on a scale never seen before. Almost nothing in your life is owned by you or individual companies with huge mortgages and loans being taken against everything we own. Although most of this debt is at a very low interest rate it is in a time that we have seen the birth of the “pay day lender” with interest rates up to 6000 percent. 6000 percent? This means that for every dollar/pound/euro you borrow you will end up having to repay 60 in just one years’ time. Borrow $1000 and you will have to find $60,000. Even I would invest for such returns.”

Now that we have everybody mortgaged to the hilt the next move is actually really simple. Raise interest rates. Not to anything stupid (we don’t want a revolt after all) but to say 4 percent over a 2 year period. Everybody will default and we will own everything. We won’t even need to sell the houses and companies we own, we will just leave the little people penniless, homeless and jobless and it will not matter to us, they will have learned their lesson and we will have ALL THE MONEY!!

Happy days….