Thursday, 12 June 2014

Its all about you baby...

It’s all the fault of Doctor Gonzo, my attorney. This great beast is supposed to be on my side against the masters of puppetry as I walk my path. But failure to attend our breakfast meeting left me consuming the “2 for the price of 1” special that I had pre ordered for the event, and that is where it all got strange…

Lost on some desert island I was forced to fight my way back to normality through deserted streets never seen before. I swear I even heard the banjo playing once or twice, flashbacks of way too much TV had me ready to run at the first sign of “you got a purdy mouth” as he starts to slowly remove his sweat stained apron, again. Rolling down hills to a very slow version of Kiesza’s hideaway with a better dance routine left me wondering if I had indeed left my sanity somewhere else, and if this was a park bench or a bus shelter I was wondering if it even missed me at all. Was it happy? Was it going to be OK or was it to be the victim of some passing “loved up” rabid rabbit, never to be seen again.
If your life is being controlled by the needs of your dog it may be time for a reassessment.
 My right foot may have totally disintegrated. It gave out about 25 miles back and I have a pack of coyotes following me that lick their lips each time I stumble as they start to draw out the knives and forks as they open a nice Shiraz. Those fools think I am mad but we all know Chianti would go better. Only people being walked by their dogs are my companions as this fear and loathing of the human race reaches a crescendo with not one of them willing to open the Church door for the strange but content harpy that only had one leg, yes it’s a beast but you should still have respect you fuckers.

Anyway, I got a call from central and it turns out my press pass still exists, and there is a journalist job on in Vegas to celebrate all that is the human race. With a week there and a week to go see if Hunters DNA is still on his wall I will need my attorney by my side. Bed, all you can eat breakfast and a red shark to swim the way from Vegas to Boulder and back. If the funding comes in we will need to move the first chance we get before the other paper jockeys get the drop on us again….

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